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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26448667">Over the Bridge...Into the Void</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarSignLeo/pseuds/StarSignLeo'>StarSignLeo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Cabeswater - Freeform, M/M, Memories, Mentions of past child abuse, Transient Global Amnesia</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 06:08:55</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,496</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26448667</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarSignLeo/pseuds/StarSignLeo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam has another episode of transient global amnesia. Ronan is there to comfort him and Cabeswater helps him remember himself.<br/>*Takes place after The Dream Thieves.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>28</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Over the Bridge...Into the Void</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It had been a long and stressful week, the sort of week where Adam had to choose between paying for food or petrol because he'd missed two shifts whilst tending to Cabeswater's needs the previous week. It was the sort of week where he was even more exhausted than usual because having no petrol required him to use his rusting bike which meant he had to leave even earlier than usual to get to school, to work, to Monmouth. All this added pressure only accompanied the ordinary stress Adam was used to dealing with. Mainly organising his Welsh king hunting around homework or sleep, which he organised around work, which he organised around school. The most merciful thing that happened to Adam during this grim week was that Ronan offered to pick him up from his late-night factory shift. Although Adam was grateful for this small act of kindness the downside to this arrangement meant that Adam had to spend the drive back to his apartment listening to Ronan's preferred music at ear-splitting volumes, and Adam was sure that Ronan was taking the long way home. Adam leaned his sweaty forehead against the cool window of Ronan Lynch's car and let out a small sigh when he remembered the Latin homework he had to finish and the chemistry questions he still had to answer. Realistically he knew that he could do the assignments in the morning when sleep wouldn't be competing with verbs and equations for his brain's attention but he knew he wouldn't; because he never did.<br/>
 <br/>
Adam closed his eyes and tried to block out the thumping sound of Ronan's music. He must have drifted off because the next thing he knows he is in an unfamiliar car that's parked in front of an unfamiliar building. Adam blinks and tries to clear his head which is stubbornly blank and slow as if from a deep sleep. Adam tries to hide the terror; hide the panic he feels at finding himself in a strange place so late at night. The barely concealed fear feels so familiar like it's something he's experienced before, only he can't remember why or when. Adam can't actually remember anything really. Well, he remembers his name, but he can't remember how he got here, wherever here is. He can't remember what day it is. He can't remember what he's supposed to do next. Adam stares, transfixed, at big raindrops on the windscreen splatter and burst into thousands of tiny droplets. He suddenly jerks out of his reverie at the sound of a cough. Adam lifts his head and looks straight into the face of a stranger. The stranger - the boy in the driving seat - has apparently been talking for several minutes but Adam has been too freaked out to focus. But he's alert now because he doesn't know who this is, although something about the eyes and the lilt of the voice is oddly familiar. The boy is asking him if he's okay, Adam shakily nods his head as he tries to assess how to handle this situation.<br/>
 <br/>
"Do you know where you are?" the boy asks. Adam shakes his head.<br/>
 <br/>
"Do you know who I am?" was the next question. Adam shakes his head again. This time the stranger's eyes look sad and Adam looks away.<br/>
 <br/>
"I'm Ronan Lynch," he says, inclines his shaved head and gives a small sigh. "A friend," he adds in response to Adam's confused look. Adam attempts a smile.<br/>
 <br/>
Now there are other questions: What's the last thing he remembers? Do you know where you live? Adam tries not to stutter as he answers Ronan Lynch's questions but the shake in his voice matches the tremor in his hands which he twists around the strap of his bag.<br/>
 <br/>
Once they have established that Ronan Lynch is not going to murder him and they are in fact parked outside of Adam's rented apartment. They leave the warm car, venture out into the rain, and make their way up the rickety stairs to the room above the church. There is some confusion when Ronan and Adam reach the locked door because Adam can't remember where he put the key, to be honest he can't even remember ever being here before, never mind the fact he owns the key to this place. Ronan reaches over and grabs Adam's bag from his shoulder and rummages around until he finds the key for the apartment neatly stashed in the side pocket of the bag along with some loose change and a half-eaten snack. Once they are in the apartment Adam stands confused and dazed unsure what to do with himself. Luckily Ronan seems to have taken control and Adam allows himself to be handed some pyjamas from a cheap plastic box and guided to the bathroom to clean up and change. When Adam renters the main room he sees that Ronan has made tea, so the two of them sit on the mattress with their backs against the wall drinking the sweet tea whilst Ronan patiently answers Adam's repeated questions ranging from who the president is; to what day it is; to how they met; to what subjects Adam's studying at school; to what day it is; to what school they go to; to how they got to the apartment; to what day it is; to who the president is... After Ronan convinces Adam to eat a sandwich, Adam lies down and instantly relaxes as the smell of damp moss and rain wafts over his face.<br/>
 <br/>
The aroma is so potent that Adam can almost convince himself that he is in the forest where the fragrance so obviously belongs. He can almost convince himself that he can hear leaves rustling softly on the ground as he shifts his feet. Almost convince himself that he can hear the hissing and whistling of the wind that is creeping its way into his bones, causing him to shiver violently. He smiles wryly to himself; he's being ridiculous but considering he's lost most of his memories...he's still not sure how he ended up in this apartment... he allows himself to be swept along with the fantasy his brain has designed. Although why a forest, he has no idea but it seems familiar...safe.<br/>
 <br/>
Suddenly the temperature plummets and Adam realises that his thin blankets are not equipped to deal with this kind of cold. He needs to get up to find some more clothes he can layer over the pyjamas he's wearing or maybe turn the heating on. He vaguely wonders whether Ronan is still there and tries to think of a reasonable explanation and apology he can give without seeming even more pathetic. He groans and opens his eyes. Ronan is not in his apartment and it would seem neither is Adam.<br/>
 <br/>
This night couldn't get any weirder. First Adam forgot almost everything about his life and then was essentially put to bed by a virtual "stranger". Dropping off to the imaginary scent of trees, and rain, and grass seemed pleasant but not suspicious...until Adam sees that he is in an actual forest. By an actual forest Adam means he's lying on a wet patch of grass surrounded by hundreds of trees. His hands are filled with sodden leaves and his arms are streaked with dirt. Above him leaves are falling to the ground, twirling like ballerinas. The sky is as dark as a witch’s cauldron, stretching as an endless, starless infinity.  Adam stands up before the dew and rainwater soaks through his clothes and squints in the darkness at the trees enclosing him. He can't help but press his hands against the gnarled rough tree trunks. The forest instantly becomes more animated as if Adam's hand has activated it, almost as if his touch was recognised by the trees. The branches start to sway in the wind which has picked up considerably and is now positively howling and the cold somehow presses against Adam more strongly. The noise increases as the temperature decreases and Adam is starting to think he is in danger of freezing and being deafened by the violent winds. Then Adam gets a strange feeling that the forest is trying to tell him something. As soon as the thought has crossed his mind the noise sharpens and becomes more focused, like a solitary whisper.<br/>
 <br/>
"Nos audire te...Sumus Cabeswater...Nos audire te". (we hear you...we are Cabeswater...we hear you).<br/>
 <br/>
Cabeswater? What is Cabeswater? Something sifts in Adam's mind and he feels a warmth and a thrill at the name, somewhere deep inside him, but he can't quite place it. Adam thinks about how the trees had told him they can hear him and he thinks about how cold it is and how dark it is. Adam doesn't think he's scared but mainly because he doesn't know if there is anything to be scared of but he would prefer it if it was lighter and warmer. Slowly, pale watery moonlight started to filter through the spindly branches of the trees turning them from terrifying attackers to comforting protection. Adam's eyes adjusted to the newly lit forest and up ahead he saw something strewn over a couple of branches. Curiously, Adam walked over and as he drew near, he saw that it was faded blue fabric flapping in the wind. He pulled it down and saw it was a hoodie. A slightly worn but warm hoodie. So, the forest...Cabeswater...did hear him or more specifically hear his thoughts and it listened. Adam put on the hoodie and thought about the parts of his life missing from his memory and he thought "I want to remember".<br/>
 <br/>
In the distance Adam could see dozens of small yellow lights bobbing up and down. Partly to keep the pervading cold at bay and mostly out of curiosity Adam started to walk towards the lights. When he got close enough Adam saw that the light was made by a swarm of fireflies fluttering around in a frenzy. It was a beautiful sight: The tiny airborne glowing flies hovering against the dark outline of trees that were so tall and wide they blocked out most of the moonlight filtering through the thick overhead canopy, playing flickering shadows across everything. The light of the fireflies combined with the pale moonlight enabled Adam to see that he was in a clearing. In the middle was a stone basin on a small pile of rocks. Intrigued, Adam walked closer and saw that the basin was pooled with glassy water, reflecting only black. Seeing a flicker out of the corner of his eye, Adam glanced up and saw the fireflies recede into the trees leaving him in the dark. A gust of wind rustled Adam's hair and the back of his neck prickled as if hundreds of eyes were surveying him in the darkness. Adam flicked his gaze back to the basin where the surface of the water shimmered and glinted as if lit from within.<br/>
 <br/>
Adam kneels on the rocks beside the basin and spreads his hands above the smooth surface of the water. Skimming his fingertips along the icy water, which begins to ripple softly and beautifully at first, Adam stares as if he's been hypnotised. The ripples begin to spread quicker and more violently distorting the peaceful ambience. Adam withdraws his hands and as soon as he does the water changes and Adam first thinks it's a trick of the light because he can see something in the water. It's not his reflection but it is an image. As the ripples fade away the image comes into focus and Adam sees that it is an image of a little boy sitting on the steps of a trailer. Adam squints in confusion, not understanding the significance but somewhere deep inside him he aches for the child sitting there waiting...and waiting...and waiting. Adam blinks and the image is gone. It's replaced with an image of a large man with a red face and raised fist and Adam's stomach clenches and his heart is full of fear. The image in the water changes again and again, depicting this strange and silent boy's life. Adam feels a little ashamed when he can't tear his eyes away from the boy's tearstained face and bruised cheeks, as if he's intruding on something private. There are also more images of the man, always red faced, always angry. Sometimes there's a beer bottle in his hand...sometimes a belt. Occasionally, there is a woman in the distance, silently watching. The images are changing so fast now that Adam can only catch a glimpse of them but his heart splinters every time he sees the look on the boy's face as he tries to keep the tears in. Even though Adam still doesn't understand the images he wants to reach through the water and comfort the child.<br/>
 <br/>
The images weren't confined to the surface of the water because they were still there when Adam closed his eyes as if they were burnt on his eyelids. Then Adam realised they weren't just images, they weren't strangers. They were memories. His memories. Now he understood, the forest - Cabeswater - was trying to help him remember who he is...remember who Adam Parrish is. Adam opened his eyes and it's as if he's submerged in nostalgia. The water was still showing images but this time he saw himself in the snapshots. He was older and more confident with a glimmer of hope in his eye, and he was holding a paper with a raven emblem in the corner. Adam smiled at the memory of opening his acceptance letter from Aglionby academy, he remembered the surge of fear and excitement he felt and the way his heart leapt into his throat when he saw the word "congratulations". Despite what his father thought he knew it would be the start of something better. Now there are images of other teenagers: a tall, smudgy guy. A handsome boy wearing a bright orange polo shirt. A short girl with spiky hair. Last was the guy who drove him to the apartment with his buzz cut and leather bracelets, the boy who made him feel safe. Adam stares at their faces and wondered where he fit in, with his small apartment and cheap clothes, compared to their fancy cars and expensive watches. The leaves start to rustle as the wind picks up and Adam can detect a rhythm in the noise... "amicis"...."amicis"...."amicis" - friends, friends, friends. Adam's mind was flooded with more memories. Some old and some more recent, some were made in this very forest, trekking through the countryside with Gansey, Ronan, Blue, and Noah taking note of anything extraordinary. The memories made Adam's heart sing with pride and passion for all the things they had discovered and will discover. In that moment nothing else mattered only that Adam had found his place in the world again.</p>
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